Are you dead?

"Sometimes I think I'm dead, cuz I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head. But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet."

-Home by Cavetown

Heyo. Been listening to that song repeatedly, right now even.

Ok! So! Here we are, it's 2026. I know that January is almost over, it's not that I forgot or anything, I've just been thinking of how to write this entry. But thinking too much has never been good for me so SCREW IT. Here we go. What what what what what happened in 2025....... a lot happened. I think I say that every year. GOD HOW DO I BEGIN?????!?!?

UGH. GOTTA CLEAR MY HEAD. :(

...

Let me start off with something not-depressing. I went to a lot of trips. Went overseas TWICE. And some local ones too. Pretty nice. The most notable trip was when I went to the US!! :O And the most notable part of my trip there is when I attended a convention!! And met one of my fave writers ever!! I'm getting all giddy just thinking about it. I bought her book and got her to sign it and everything. Even got to hang out WITH her and stuff for a bit. She's just that cool. Ok, enough fanboying. Let's move on to another topic.

So, now about drawing. I think I did enough drawing for the year. (looks at works) Ok maybe not enough. I like to think they were good tho. Where are they, you may ask, but I'M NOT TELLING. They are ひみつ.

Now about video games. No surprise, I did not play a lot. Only games I played were Deltarune chapter 3 and 4, and Pokemon Legends: Z-A. I have not finished the latter though. I hope it doesn't take me more than 2 years like I did with Pokemon Scarlet. Yeesh. It's not that I'm uninterested, I'm just often too tired to play after work.

Oh! Now about work. In two months, it'll be my 5th year anniversary since I started this job. What!! That's so long. Dayum.

...

Ok this is where it gets depressing.

Work is good. But sometimes, it's not so good. And sometimes, it's just plain awful. There would be times I'd question what am I doing here anyway. But, most of the time, it feels rewarding. I guess that's true for most jobs. But the bad thoughts linger here and there.

Warning: it's gonna get even more depressing.

Last year I spoke about my grandmother dying. This year, one of our cats died. One day we noticed she wasn't looking too good so I planned on taking her to the clinic the day after. Then she went missing on the planned day. A week passed and we still couldn't find her. Not until a foul smell started to come off from somewhere in the house. Turns out she hid in a very concealed area and died there. I was the one who buried her. It was sad for everyone at home. 

Months later, my grandfather died. It was sad for the entire family, even to those who were far away. That makes both of my maternal grandparents now gone. I love them very much. I miss them so much.

It's okay. I'm okay. We're okay.

The future is here. And I have no choice but to push through. Well, there is another choice but it's not a good one, and I don't want to choose that.

I can push through. I can keep fighting. I can do it. We can do it.

And that's that! I will hopefully see you again next year.

Hello, 2025

Hey folks, how's it going? Good? Now enough about you. Let's talk about me.

Soooo... 2024 huh? What a year. Which I say to about almost any year, but damn 2024. I wouldn't say the entire year sucked, some parts were pretty good, but yeah. Ok 

(Ifellasleepwhilewritingomgthisisembarrassing)

Ok. Early 2024, I fell apart. I was promoted at work, but I couldn't handle the responsibilities. My mental health took a turn for the worse. I was feeling down majority of the time. It sucked so much. Adding to that, my beloved grandmother (81yo) suddenly died. No one saw it coming at all. I was really sad about it, sure, but not to the point I didn't want to go on anymore surprisingly. It really helped that my big family were all together at that time, mourning. I miss you grandma. So so much.

...

....Alrighty. Enough sadness for now. A bit later, I went to South Korea for a trip! It was really fun. Went to many places, ate new kinds of food, and more stuff. 

Mid 2024, I chose to keep going. I slowly improved at work. I tried working on myself more. Still don't do exercise though, haha sorry. I celebrated my birthday.... I don't remember how we celebrated it though. Huh. Aaaaaa I can't remember!!! OH WAIT I REMEMBER NOW, WE WENT ICE SKATING. AND PLAYED A LOT OF ARCADE GAMES. CAPS LOCK. It was so fun. I won like 50 plush keychains, hrrm hrrm. 

Late 2024, things seemingly went well. We applied for US visas, and got approved. We celebrated our widowed grandfather's birthday (86yo), he seemed happy that time. I FINALLY finished the main story on Pokemon Scarlet, god I can't believe it took 2 years. We all celebrated Christmas and awaited the New Year together. 

And here we are. 2025.

It's only halfway thru January and I'm already tired LOL. Let's keep on fighting.

Wha- I almost forgot!

Wow, a GIF. Amazing.

Anyways, what! I almost forgot to write my yearly blogpost! It's already near end of January already, yeesh.

Let's talk about 2023. 

I don't know where to begin. My mind's all mixed up right now, just got home after work. Oh! Work. Yeah, I still work in the same place as I did nearly 3 years ago. 

Hold on.

(Pause)

....sorry. Had an episode while writing this, had to stop for a bit.

Continue. Ok yeah, I need to summarize last year. Ahem. I thought 2023 was pretty ok. I think in the beginning of the year I crashed the family car? Yeah I'm not sure. During that time we also planned on going to Japan! We got approved for visas and everything. The plan was to go in April wherein it would be my older sister's birthday. We'll go to Disney SEA, Universal Studios, and more! It was going to be fun. But then, one of my near-14yo dogs got really sick just a night before the trip. We had to get him confined, and told the clinic to contact us for updates. We still proceeded for the trip. On our 3rd day, while on our way to Disney SEA, I got contacted that he died. Welp, that was a day ruined early. I still tried enjoying myself, and I guess I still had a good time. But the sadness lingered.

Overall, our trip to Japan was really nice! But then as we went home, my other near-14yo dog got sick too. We had him confined like the other one, but he also ended up dying. They both died in a span of 2 weeks, for different reasons. What a month April was.

Let's fastforward things. The rest of the year was mostly work, work, and WORK. I'm gonna instead talk about different topics regarding the year.

Drawing! I think I drew a lot in 2023. But less so than 2022. Which I guess is a li'l disappointing to me. I wish to draw more for 2024.

Video games! Ok this is embarrassing but I bought Pokémon Scarlet when it was released in 2022 and up until now I still only got 2 badges. Eek. I just barely find time to play and it makes me so sad. ú_ù I want to change that too for this year.

Cartoons! Last year, one of my fave shows, The Owl House, ended. It had a pretty satisfying ending for me. Still made me a little sad though. :') Also started subbing to some streaming sites. Been watching Young Justice, Invincible, Bluey, MLP G5, Miraculous Ladybug, etc. and rewatching some old faves too. Nice nice. I hope to find more interesting stuff to watch this year!

Ok, now let's get serious this time.

Mental health. As usual, I had ups and downs. Mostly manageable bad thoughts throughout the year. Buuuut since late 2023, I am not feeling good at all most of the time. It sucks. Not that there's some big horrible thing that happened. I don't know.

This has probably a lot to do with work. I guess because of work, I can't seem to take care of myself properly. But I can't blame it all on work. It's up to me to figure out a way. I just wish I could figure it out soon, cuz until now I still feel blahh. Maybe I'll try working out or enroll in martial arts or smth healthy I guess. Hm, that sounds like a good idea. I'll think about it. I do need to lose more weight. Yeah. Alsooo, perhaps I'll get therapy. I think I REALLY need it. 

Now 2024, please be nice to me. 

Enough Song Lyric Titles!!!

 hang in there!

These past few years I've been using song lyrics as entry titles. Well right now I wish to do something different. Oh, hi, btw.

Sooooo.... 2022. It was definitely a year. It was a bit of a blast. I mentioned in my last entry I was feeling sick at the time. Guess what, it really WAS Covid-19! I recovered anyway, given that I'm here now. Too bad. I guess the vaccine helped.

So! (again) I'm still working in my same job as last year. Like always, there were ups and downs. I had good clients, some bad clients, and some horribly terrible clients that make me wish THEY'D GO TO-- a bad place. Anyways, most patients are good bois and gurls.

Moving on to another interest of mine, DRAWING.

I'd like to say I drew a whole lot. A lot more than these past few years. I made some short comics that even gained traction. And I actually opened commissions. Would you believe some people actually commissioned me! To draw! For them! With pay! It felt kinda nice. Though tbh, the money I got with those commissions I just use to commission other artists. Haha.

I'm not gonna say where I posted these drawings though. If you want to look for them, you're on your own. And no, they're not under my jubjub05 handle. Sneaky sneaky.

Okay overall, I had fun in 2022. The only downside of it, I never had time to play any videogames. And idk if I'll even have time for it this year either. (Inhales) I'm gonna find a way to change that.

I guess that's it. See you next year!

I wish you could move to the sun

Hello. How are you?

It is currently the 5th of January. So here I am.

To start off, let me just say that 2021 was life-changing, new chapter-starting, back-hurting, and very tiring.

Early 2021, probably January then, I wrote an entry here. I sort of mentioned stuff that happened the year before that and what might happen time after. Well, here's the thing:

I PASSED THE BOARDS.

And then you know what happened next?

I GOT A JOB.

Yeah! Seems so... unbelievable. I started working not more than a month since I was hired. That was what, 9 months ago? Yes, you read that right. I've been working for 9 months now. I'm a fully developed baby. Sort of.

Man I seem so grown-up now. Look at me mom! I'm being an adult! Well, more like a kid trying to be an adult.

I don't want to go through every detail of what happened in 2021. I spent most of it working. There were ups and downs. Even made some new friends. That year made me realize that I'm no longer who I thought I was. I have changed. Greatly. Both on the inside and the outside. Yeah I gained more weight, so what?

Right now, I feel sick. Not sure if it's Covid-19. I'm too scared to get tested. I hope I get better soon, I want money.

Bye.

PS: If I die, bye forever. If I don't, I'll see you next year.

Suddenly, Everything Has Changed

Last year sure was something huh. Not just for me, for the whole world even. Ok. Let's try something different. No bullets this time.

I got some news. I graduated a few months ago! I finally finished my thesis after putting it off for so long. That's right, you're now looking at a bonafide college graduate! Ignore the fact it took me forever. Shhhh it's not important. My thesis has been mostly the focus of my year, sort of. I did the experiment portion early March and just after I finished, the quarantine began.

This freaking pandemic. Goddamn.

I am kind of a mess right now. It's difficult to think. Grgh. Ok. I'm gonna summarize last year, not in bullets, but into single words!

Jan - Fly
Feb - Sleep
Mar - End
Apr - Play
May - Shots
Jun - Wait
Jul - Finish
Aug - Graduate
Sep - Draw
Oct - Drink
Nov - Shop
Dec - Plush

Have fun deciphering that, future me!

It's been established that I already graduated but the struggles are not over yet. There's another obstacle I need to go through.

T̴̺̈͊͘H̵͕͗̄͛̏̄̀͘͘Ě̴̜̞̔̉͂̐ͅ ̷̠͕̏B̷̦͔͕̻̻̮͉̣̜͛̄O̴̡̻̳̰͖͍̍̃̈͛̓̇̽͝Ạ̸̰̖͐R̷͖̰̤̠͎̬̞͌̈́̑̈́͊̀͜D̴̨̰͓̝̫̜̙͊͆̄͆̊̽͘͜ ̵̨̫͎̺͙̗̲͉̣̒E̴̡͈͉̽̃́̓̂X̶̧͔̦̬̤̞̘̦͑̉͌͝Ả̸̺̏̄͊̂̂̐M̴͖̙̳͖͕̉̎̆̓̎͜͝

It's not more than a month from now. And to be honest, I'm kinda sure I won't do well. I know it's horrible to think like that but I can't help it. I feel like I know SOME stuff, but I don't feel it's enough. I just hope those paid review sessions won't entirely go to waste.

Does this entry seem like a mess? Sure seems like it. Wait, aren't all my entries like this? Ugh, my head hurts.

He Sparkles. Shimmers. Shines.

2019 was quite a busy year. Probably one of my most productive years. Let's begin. No. Let's wrap it up.

To summarize (once again in bullets):
• Externship was a'ight. I learned a lot and the people were nice.
• The rest of the semester was pretty great. I got along well with my rotationmates. Clinic duties, farm duties, and more duties but I managed to pull through.
• End of the semester. Nearly everyone graduated.
• I didn't graduate because I still didn't do my thesis.
• Midyear break. Full of video games and ice cream sandwiches.
• Start of sem. I enrolled to work on my thesis. The store stopped selling the ice cream sandwiches I like.
• So. MLP ended. And I have mixed feelings about the finale, leaning towards to negative. But let's go on shall we?
• Steven Universe the Movie!! So gooooood.
• Birthdayyy!! Guess what I got:

And a Switch.
• My sibling helped me to finally start on my thesis. We did a lot only within a week.
• More thesis stuff.
• Thesis Outline Defense done?!?
• End of semester. I got a satisfactory grade?!? Thesis to be continued next semester.
• December, I joined Sudomemo. Fun site. I try to post every week there.
• Steven Universe Future!! Heartbreakiiiing.
• Christmaaas!! Guess what I got:

And Super Mario Party.
• Then we went to my dad's hometown to celebrate the New Year. It's been sorta fun. Very draining though.

Next year maybe I'll write in non-bullet form.

That's all.
So long. Farewell. Goodbye.