Wha- I almost forgot!

Wow, a GIF. Amazing.

Anyways, what! I almost forgot to write my yearly blogpost! It's already near end of January already, yeesh.

Let's talk about 2023. 

I don't know where to begin. My mind's all mixed up right now, just got home after work. Oh! Work. Yeah, I still work in the same place as I did nearly 3 years ago. 

Hold on.

(Pause)

....sorry. Had an episode while writing this, had to stop for a bit.

Continue. Ok yeah, I need to summarize last year. Ahem. I thought 2023 was pretty ok. I think in the beginning of the year I crashed the family car? Yeah I'm not sure. During that time we also planned on going to Japan! We got approved for visas and everything. The plan was to go in April wherein it would be my older sister's birthday. We'll go to Disney SEA, Universal Studios, and more! It was going to be fun. But then, one of my near-14yo dogs got really sick just a night before the trip. We had to get him confined, and told the clinic to contact us for updates. We still proceeded for the trip. On our 3rd day, while on our way to Disney SEA, I got contacted that he died. Welp, that was a day ruined early. I still tried enjoying myself, and I guess I still had a good time. But the sadness lingered.

Overall, our trip to Japan was really nice! But then as we went home, my other near-14yo dog got sick too. We had him confined like the other one, but he also ended up dying. They both died in a span of 2 weeks, for different reasons. What a month April was.

Let's fastforward things. The rest of the year was mostly work, work, and WORK. I'm gonna instead talk about different topics regarding the year.

Drawing! I think I drew a lot in 2023. But less so than 2022. Which I guess is a li'l disappointing to me. I wish to draw more for 2024.

Video games! Ok this is embarrassing but I bought Pokémon Scarlet when it was released in 2022 and up until now I still only got 2 badges. Eek. I just barely find time to play and it makes me so sad. ú_ù I want to change that too for this year.

Cartoons! Last year, one of my fave shows, The Owl House, ended. It had a pretty satisfying ending for me. Still made me a little sad though. :') Also started subbing to some streaming sites. Been watching Young Justice, Invincible, Bluey, MLP G5, Miraculous Ladybug, etc. and rewatching some old faves too. Nice nice. I hope to find more interesting stuff to watch this year!

Ok, now let's get serious this time.

Mental health. As usual, I had ups and downs. Mostly manageable bad thoughts throughout the year. Buuuut since late 2023, I am not feeling good at all most of the time. It sucks. Not that there's some big horrible thing that happened. I don't know.

This has probably a lot to do with work. I guess because of work, I can't seem to take care of myself properly. But I can't blame it all on work. It's up to me to figure out a way. I just wish I could figure it out soon, cuz until now I still feel blahh. Maybe I'll try working out or enroll in martial arts or smth healthy I guess. Hm, that sounds like a good idea. I'll think about it. I do need to lose more weight. Yeah. Alsooo, perhaps I'll get therapy. I think I REALLY need it. 

Now 2024, please be nice to me. 

Enough Song Lyric Titles!!!

 hang in there!

These past few years I've been using song lyrics as entry titles. Well right now I wish to do something different. Oh, hi, btw.

Sooooo.... 2022. It was definitely a year. It was a bit of a blast. I mentioned in my last entry I was feeling sick at the time. Guess what, it really WAS Covid-19! I recovered anyway, given that I'm here now. Too bad. I guess the vaccine helped.

So! (again) I'm still working in my same job as last year. Like always, there were ups and downs. I had good clients, some bad clients, and some horribly terrible clients that make me wish THEY'D GO TO-- a bad place. Anyways, most patients are good bois and gurls.

Moving on to another interest of mine, DRAWING.

I'd like to say I drew a whole lot. A lot more than these past few years. I made some short comics that even gained traction. And I actually opened commissions. Would you believe some people actually commissioned me! To draw! For them! With pay! It felt kinda nice. Though tbh, the money I got with those commissions I just use to commission other artists. Haha.

I'm not gonna say where I posted these drawings though. If you want to look for them, you're on your own. And no, they're not under my jubjub05 handle. Sneaky sneaky.

Okay overall, I had fun in 2022. The only downside of it, I never had time to play any videogames. And idk if I'll even have time for it this year either. (Inhales) I'm gonna find a way to change that.

I guess that's it. See you next year!

I wish you could move to the sun

Hello. How are you?

It is currently the 5th of January. So here I am.

To start off, let me just say that 2021 was life-changing, new chapter-starting, back-hurting, and very tiring.

Early 2021, probably January then, I wrote an entry here. I sort of mentioned stuff that happened the year before that and what might happen time after. Well, here's the thing:

I PASSED THE BOARDS.

And then you know what happened next?

I GOT A JOB.

Yeah! Seems so... unbelievable. I started working not more than a month since I was hired. That was what, 9 months ago? Yes, you read that right. I've been working for 9 months now. I'm a fully developed baby. Sort of.

Man I seem so grown-up now. Look at me mom! I'm being an adult! Well, more like a kid trying to be an adult.

I don't want to go through every detail of what happened in 2021. I spent most of it working. There were ups and downs. Even made some new friends. That year made me realize that I'm no longer who I thought I was. I have changed. Greatly. Both on the inside and the outside. Yeah I gained more weight, so what?

Right now, I feel sick. Not sure if it's Covid-19. I'm too scared to get tested. I hope I get better soon, I want money.

Bye.

PS: If I die, bye forever. If I don't, I'll see you next year.

Suddenly, Everything Has Changed

Last year sure was something huh. Not just for me, for the whole world even. Ok. Let's try something different. No bullets this time.

I got some news. I graduated a few months ago! I finally finished my thesis after putting it off for so long. That's right, you're now looking at a bonafide college graduate! Ignore the fact it took me forever. Shhhh it's not important. My thesis has been mostly the focus of my year, sort of. I did the experiment portion early March and just after I finished, the quarantine began.

This freaking pandemic. Goddamn.

I am kind of a mess right now. It's difficult to think. Grgh. Ok. I'm gonna summarize last year, not in bullets, but into single words!

Jan - Fly
Feb - Sleep
Mar - End
Apr - Play
May - Shots
Jun - Wait
Jul - Finish
Aug - Graduate
Sep - Draw
Oct - Drink
Nov - Shop
Dec - Plush

Have fun deciphering that, future me!

It's been established that I already graduated but the struggles are not over yet. There's another obstacle I need to go through.

T̴̺̈͊͘H̵͕͗̄͛̏̄̀͘͘Ě̴̜̞̔̉͂̐ͅ ̷̠͕̏B̷̦͔͕̻̻̮͉̣̜͛̄O̴̡̻̳̰͖͍̍̃̈͛̓̇̽͝Ạ̸̰̖͐R̷͖̰̤̠͎̬̞͌̈́̑̈́͊̀͜D̴̨̰͓̝̫̜̙͊͆̄͆̊̽͘͜ ̵̨̫͎̺͙̗̲͉̣̒E̴̡͈͉̽̃́̓̂X̶̧͔̦̬̤̞̘̦͑̉͌͝Ả̸̺̏̄͊̂̂̐M̴͖̙̳͖͕̉̎̆̓̎͜͝

It's not more than a month from now. And to be honest, I'm kinda sure I won't do well. I know it's horrible to think like that but I can't help it. I feel like I know SOME stuff, but I don't feel it's enough. I just hope those paid review sessions won't entirely go to waste.

Does this entry seem like a mess? Sure seems like it. Wait, aren't all my entries like this? Ugh, my head hurts.

He Sparkles. Shimmers. Shines.

2019 was quite a busy year. Probably one of my most productive years. Let's begin. No. Let's wrap it up.

To summarize (once again in bullets):
• Externship was a'ight. I learned a lot and the people were nice.
• The rest of the semester was pretty great. I got along well with my rotationmates. Clinic duties, farm duties, and more duties but I managed to pull through.
• End of the semester. Nearly everyone graduated.
• I didn't graduate because I still didn't do my thesis.
• Midyear break. Full of video games and ice cream sandwiches.
• Start of sem. I enrolled to work on my thesis. The store stopped selling the ice cream sandwiches I like.
• So. MLP ended. And I have mixed feelings about the finale, leaning towards to negative. But let's go on shall we?
• Steven Universe the Movie!! So gooooood.
• Birthdayyy!! Guess what I got:

And a Switch.
• My sibling helped me to finally start on my thesis. We did a lot only within a week.
• More thesis stuff.
• Thesis Outline Defense done?!?
• End of semester. I got a satisfactory grade?!? Thesis to be continued next semester.
• December, I joined Sudomemo. Fun site. I try to post every week there.
• Steven Universe Future!! Heartbreakiiiing.
• Christmaaas!! Guess what I got:

And Super Mario Party.
• Then we went to my dad's hometown to celebrate the New Year. It's been sorta fun. Very draining though.

Next year maybe I'll write in non-bullet form.

That's all.
So long. Farewell. Goodbye.

While we're on the subject, let's change the subject now

Hi, happy new year.

Let's see. 2018 was a'right I guess. Get ready, I am now gonna talk about it.

At the beginning of the year, I finally went to see a professional about my "problem". Guess what, I have Clinical Depression! Isn't that great?! The doctor got me started taking meds. I go into more details in my private tumblr blog that I still do not want to share. I've been writing a lot more in it than here making this blog kinda useless now. But you know, whatever.

I've been mostly consuming content the entire year. Mostly mlp related hehe. Oh and discovered a few bands/artists. With the biggest discovery of the year being JACK STAUBER. I like his music. I like his videos. I like his music videos. What a cool guy.

For video games, I didn't play much throughout the year.. I did finish Pokemon Silver using my GBC, also started playing Pokemon Go since September and around December I played a lot of Bully: Scholarship Edition. Cool game, currently at 85%. And on Christmas, I got a scooter and other cool stuff.

Also I gained more weight.

And my cat died.

See, 2018 was a'right.
But enough of 2018.

2019. *deep breath* *deep sigh*

There's going to be a lot going on this year. Mostly something to do with my school work. I've spent so much time in school but this year, I'm finally maybe able to graduate. But there's still a lot to do before that happens, and I'm scared. There's the externship, reports, papers, exams, and my thesis! God, I am scared. Actually, I've been scared the entire time since last year. So much work! Bluh.

I hope I don't mess up. And if I do, I hope I can still go on.

This is the New Year, and I Don't Feel Any Different

I'm gonna put this out first: 2017 WAS TERRIBLE. I HATED IT. A LOT.

Let's summarize the year in bullets,

•  That exam I had to take January last year was a success. I had to cut some parts off my own cat. She turned out fine. 
• Around February to early March, I've discovered the DarkSquidge weekly vlog series, Last Week. It gave me newfound admiration for TomSka, while I've liked him as a content creator years before, this series made me realize how I relate to him a whole lot. He's a pretty rad funny guy. 
• I've noticeably grown horizontally. Not that I mind but the comments from the folks never stop, even though I get to see them regularly. Sheesh, ran out of things to say? I heard you the first 30 times. 
• I started a journal, they're actually just facebook posts on private since I wanted to write down things but I don't want to disrupt the yearly tradition here.  
• I mostly just played Animal Crossing the whole year, the only new game I played was Pokemon Sun, which btw, IS AWESOME.
• SO MUCH STEVEN UNIVERSE, at least in the first half of the year, then the LONGEST HIATUS EVER happened. I cry.
• Near end of May, BoBoiBoy Galaxy aired in Disney Channel. After that, binge-watching the entire series, looking through so many fanart, drawing fanart, and actually participating in a fan community happened. What? 
• End of semester, I only failed in one subject.
• In June, I moved my journal thing to a tumblr blog I abandoned. No way I'm sharing it, but you're free to find it if you want. Just, don't follow it, alright? 
• September, I had a birthday that consisted of presents that are very rad.
• Also, had a little vacation to a place with many crocodiles. 
• Wait, I also got Pokemon Ultra Sun on the release date! (November)
• Late November to early December, my mom got Netflix and shared her account with us. Bojack Horseman, dude. 
• When I finished Bojack Horseman, I started watching another horse-related cartoon: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yeah.
• Oh, and I also became a Modest Mouse fan. 
• End of semester, I failed no subject.
• December....gifts????

Whoooa this seems a lot. But I want to go into more detail in some. 

Me gaining weight and showing it was just inevitable to me, but apparently not to others. One thing I did not mention, I got a lot of drawing done! They're on my main tumblr that you're free to check out (jubjub05.tumblr.com). Getting interested in BoBoiBoy really got the drawing mood going haha. Currently, I'm just swimming in MLP fanart cuz I've finished all available episodes and official comics. What's that? Which of the Mane 6 is my favorite? I'm afraid there isn't cuz I find them all likeable and hot. I also want to start drawing them too, but I haven't had time to practice at all with my laptop getting busted and all. I guess I forgot to mention that. Hehe. 

Behold, a finger doodle of the Mane 6 and all their glory, The accuracy is astounding.

If you look at it, seems like nothing horrible happened to me. Truth be told, yes. Nothing horrible happened to me. It's more like, horrible things were happening, but only inside me. All these good things happening, but I wasn't happy. Why wasn't I happy? I don't know. I feel very guilty for being very ungrateful. And that went on almost the entire year. I can't and don't know how to stop. I hope I get the help I need soon. Let's hope that appointment my mom made in the next 2 weeks won't be a waste.

Here's to 2018, yay.